One day, as I was speaking to my psychiatrist to review my progress, I told him that I had come to the following realisation: I felt an important part of my recovery was to accept my limits without defining myself by my limitations. He liked that so much that he wrote it down! Although I was surprised (and delighted) by his reaction, I did feel I had come up with more than an elegant turn of phrase: I had come to a powerful insight for myself.

Since then, I have focused on applying that insight on a daily basis so that I breath life into it and make it 'work' for me. It has helped me a great deal. 

This is what I am learning:

• My limits are essential to me. They are my boundaries. 
• They surround me and protect me. They keep me safe. They are my picket fence.
• They are 'external' to me. They are there whether I want them or not, whatever I think, whatever I feel, and whatever I do.
• They are my self-awareness, my self-knowledge drawn in the sand.
• Honouring them brings me a little closer to wisdom.

• My limitations are optional. They are a burden to me.
• They invade me and they suffocate me. They infect me.
• They are 'internal' to me. They are there because I allow them to be and they feed on what I choose to think, to feel and to do.
• They are my doubts, my fears drawn as a cord around my neck.
• Giving in to them drags me away from my potential.

I am also learning that there can be limits without limitations, and indeed limitations that have no limits.

I now know I can be free in a small space and feel shackled in a boundless universe.

I am learning I must reject my limitations but respect my limits.

All this learning has cost me (and is still costing me) a great deal. I hope my coaching clients will benefit from it without having to fork out for the heavy price. In coach training, the emphasis is put on busting out of our limitations - or limiting beliefs as we call them - but I am not sure that the same emphasis is put, and the same well-defined processes are available, to help us define and honour our limits.

What do YOU think?